Mutterings Of A Mindless Mommy

“I wanted to do this show because I wanted to show people what autism is.”

Those are the very wise words from 10 year old Max from Cherry Hill, NJ. Max was one of four children featured on Monday night’s episode of TLC’s “My Life As A Child.” Max has a 15 year-old brother, Anthony, who has autism. Max’s segments of the show focused on how living with his brother affects him. He starts off by saying “being autistic, Anthony has weird quirks” then goes on to show some of the things Anthony collects including lawnmowers and light bulbs. Max, Anthony, and their family received a lot of air time and I think they did a really good job showcasing what living with a person with autism could be like but also emphasizing that this is a normal part of life for them.

One part that was particularly touching for me was when the Max asked how the future would be different for him compared to Anthony. His mother’s answers were a reality check for me. For her son Max she wants him to grow up and get married when he’s ready to get married. For Anthony she said that he will probably live with his parents until they are no longer able to care for him and then perhaps he can move into an apartment with others and have a caretaker but that she wants his brother and sister to still involve them in their lives.

This is part of a reality for many parents of children with autism. No one knows what the future holds for your child. If you think about it you don’t know the future for any of your children, whether they have autism or not, but the reality sets in when you think about your child with autism. For my son we have a college savings plan. For my daughter we are going to look into a special-needs trust. We don’t know what level of functioning she will have at age eighteen; she may need assistance or she may be able to go out into the world on her own. These thoughts were really difficult to me in the first few weeks post-diagnosis. I have now come to move on from the “what does the future hold” thoughts and focus on the present. What do I have to be thankful for today.