“She Should Be Potty Trained”
Today’s title is in quotes because it is just that - a quote. This is what I was told today while changing my daughter’s diaper at a Target store. My daughter is 3.5 and a little tall for her age but between the autism and the sensory processing disorder is nowhere near ready for potty training/learning. We were at therapy and she had her turn and my son was a few minutes into his when I noticed a foul odor emanating from her bottom region. I checked her diaper and sure enough, she was the source of the odor. I told the therapist I needed to go change her diaper and checked in with my son to make sure he was fine without me, he said “sure.” We get down to the car and I realize I have my old car and not my new car which means I have no wipes. Target is 1/2 mile down the road and we are only ten minutes into a 50 minute therapy session so we head off to Target. After finding the wipes we head into the bathroom. I carefully release the latch on the changing table, line it with paper towels, and lob my 3.5 year old daughter up there. Mind you she’s as big as the table but where else am I going to change her?
A mother and a daughter were using the restroom and when the daughter came out (about Ava’s age) she commented to her mom about the baby getting a diaper change. Ava calls any kid a baby so I thought it was cute. Then the mom opened her mouth and out came “That’s no baby, she should use the potty like you.” Oh great, its one of *those* moments. I thought that was the end of it but evidently the mom felt the need to educate me about parenting my daughter and looked at me and said “she should be potty trained.” Yes, this was a complete stranger. Today has been a rough day and usually I have something constructive to say but no not this time, all she got from me was a “shut your cakehole.” Wow, look at my maturity just shine through!
Quite frankly I’m tired of the comments I’ve been getting the past week or so. People aren’t even being well-intentioned about their comments, they are being downright rude. I am tired of saying “she has autism” and then going on to explain that yes she really does have autism even though she smiles and is verbal. The whole “she has autism” comment just opens up a new conversation line for me that quite frankly I’m tired of discussing. I am not embarassed by the fact that my daughter has autism but I am just tired of judgmental people saying things that are really absolutely none of their business.
To piggy back on the whole dreaded autism tantrum post; if you see a child doing something that you think isn’t appropriate for their age please pause for a moment and reserve judgment. There are often-times unforseen needs that a child may have leading to such behavior.
