I Love Being Alone
“I love being alone.”
This is what my son told me as we were walking into the house after school today. When we get home from school we eat lunch, Ava usually naps, and Alexander goes to ‘quiet time.’ Quiet time is self-imposed, he immediately goes to his playroom after lunch to do one of many things - read, color, play with his toys, do a puzzle, etc. If Ava doesn’t nap and wants to play with him he gets irritated. If it is a therapy day and his quiet time is delayed by several hours he gets irritated. Heaven help us if it is a long day and he doesn’t get any quiet time at all. This is part of his routine that he will not change, evidently it is because he loves being alone.
When speaking to the psychiatrist about this she said it is very common among children with Asperger’s Syndrome. For whatever reason the child just needs to get away. After Alexander’s comment today I decided to poke around the good ole www and see what I could find on the subject; especially in light of the VA Tech shooter being described as a loner with autistic or Asperger-like tendencies (which no one professional can agree on.)
From aspergia.com:
Nevertheless, throughout history, those who were born with a strong Aspergian persona, mostly knew that something was different. The sound of the ocean would calm them down, and they needed a great deal of solitude.
One of Alexander’s CDs - Indigo Ocean Dreams - is completely ocean-themed and he absolutely loves it. It helps calm him down when he’s made and relax him when he’s irritated. He will also listen to it just for the sake of listening to it - it has been a tremendous help in assisting Alexander in identifying his moods and how to get back to a calm state.
Tony Attwood describes Asperger’s Syndrome on the Canadian Parents site and included this description:
The person may actively seek and enjoy solitude.
I can completely relate to my son’s desire for solitude as I am the same way. With Ava napping and Alexander in his self-imposed quiet time I also get to benefit from some quiet time of my own. I use this time for myself - I avoid chores, laundry, cleaning, etc during this time and instead do something I enjoy. Sometimes I’m on my laptop, sometimes I’m reading, and other times I’m watching a movie. I see a lot of myself in Alexander - evidently the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:37 pm
I also “love being alone.” For a long time I figured that people who were very social and spent a lot of with others were somehow faking it. How could they possible enjoy that? Now I see I have AS and there’s an explanation…when I’m by myself, I can hear Nature, I can feel a higher presence, there’s no one there to pass judgment on me, no one I need to impress, no one I might feel guilty about disappointing or making sad… somehow…
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Thank you lark265 for your comment. I love how you worded how you feel when you are alone. I hope my son finds that same peace when he is alone.