Seeking Balance
As I’ve mentioned previously I am a member of Attachment Parenting International. API has eight principles of attachment parenting of which one is “Seek Balance in Personal and Family Life.” This is the one principle that I am failing miserably at right now. I have absolutely no balance in my life at all - everything revolves around the children and their education, therapy, etc. My husband hasn’t received the attention he needs and deserves and I don’t take care of myself like I should. So now that I am aware that things are crumbling before my very eyes I am making changes in order to find this balance. Finding balance in personal and family life is something that requires work when you have typically developing children; throw in a child or two with different needs then the situation just amplifies.
In browsing through amazon.com I found a few books that I promptly ordered. The first is entitled Married With Special-Needs Children: A Couples’ Guide To Keeping Connected and the second is More Than A Mom: Living A Full and Balanced Life When Your Child Has Special Needs. I was able to pick up both for less than $30 shipped. Now my husband isn’t much into reading unless it is about a technical product so I’ll be reading the first book and giving him the Cliffs Notes version. We’ve also decided to attend some couples counseling and I’ll be attending some individual counseling as well. I’m constantly stressed out and could most definitely use some help in a) taking care of myself and b) taking care of my husband. Now I’m not one of these Mrs. Brady moms - my husband is a big boy and can take care of himself; what I mean is I need to make time for doing stuff that is just for him/us. Thankfully Ava’s respite hours were approved so now we’ll be able to get out more often.
I debated posting about this but you know what - this is how my life is going right now. My blog is about my life and this is not an uncommon theme among married people with children with special needs. The term special needs is an awkward term for me to use but it is the most commonly understood term so I use it. My children aren’t typically-developing - they didn’t come with their own special handbook - and none of the mainstream parenting books I find out there tell me how to solve most of their problems. What I have found is the wonderful world of the blogosphere - other parents who have been there and done that. They are the trailblazers and have been such a tremendous help to me - I thank them all.
