Moms and Unpredictability
This is an article that I received from the Asperger’s Parenting group I belong to. I wanted to share it as I found it quite fitting for today, Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there!
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MOMS AND UNPREDICTABILITY
By Julie Coulter
Years ago, I was driving our minivan west on Georgia Route 316 towards the
orthodontist’s office in Duluth with the kids in the back seats when I heard
my son, Drew, say, “Mom, I have a gum wrapper stuck up my nose.” Staying
focused on keeping the car on the road, I calmly said, “Can you try and blow
your nose and see if it will come out?” You see, Drew had braces on his
teeth at the time and couldn’t chew gum. Someone had left a gum wrapper in
the little cup holder in the very back of the van. Since he was very
observant and had noticed it and since he couldn’t chew gum, he said he just
wanted to “smell it.” So he had held the little rolled up wrapper up to his
nose and…
We didn’t learn how to deal with this in those weeks of childbirth classes
prior to Drew’s birth. We didn’t learn a lot of what we would need to raise
children. Maybe the fact that we missed the last childbirth class because
we were in the birthing room that day when Drew arrived ten days early
should have been a clue that life was about to lose predictability. We
certainly didn’t learn about life with a child on the autism spectrum.
During the last year, Dan and I have had the wonderful opportunity of
meeting families who live everyday with children and young adults on the
autism spectrum, while producing our videos for the siblings of those on the
autism spectrum and with Asperger Syndrome. In most of the interviews, Dan
ran the camera and I was the interviewer, talking to the parents and
children who have family members on the autism spectrum. Many times, I
found myself fighting back tears in listening to the mothers tell about how
they have learned to support their children, work with school teachers and
officials, teach themselves how to parent a child with special needs, and
cope with a life that came as a series of surprises. I listened to their
stories of hard-earned achievement and triumph as their children learned new
things and made steps forward.
One thing is predictable in the world of the autism community: watching our
unpredictable children succeed in their attempts to learn to deal with
unpredictable daily living makes us very proud.
Oh, yeah, about the gum wrapper. You will be relieved to know that our 23
year old son is not walking around with a gum wrapper up his nose. My
advice doesn’t always work, but that day, it did. Drew blew out the
wrapper. Some days, he and I handle the unpredictable very well. Some
days, we struggle.
Doing these interviews reminded me what a tremendous resource mothers can be
for each other. I am so very thankful for the chance to learn from others
how they handle their unpredictable days. When we need support or advice,
it helps to remind ourselves that we can turn to family, friends,
professionals, and especially, to others like ourselves.
We are not alone.
Happy Mother’s Day!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR - Julie Coulter is the co-producer of the Intricate Minds
series of videos that help classmates understand and accept students who
have Asperger Syndrome and autism. You can find more articles at her website
at www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2007 Julie Coulter All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
