Mutterings Of A Mindless Mommy

My son, who will be six years old tomorrow, has started having very aggressive meltdowns.  These are different than previous meltdowns as there is an obvious level of rage involved.  I’ve previously posted about two of his recent tantrums (Tantrums Take Two and Tantrums - Again?).  Thoseseemed to be a trigger for even more.  If he has an expectation in his mind that is not met he freaks out.  One morning he woke up early and climbed the pantry to get to a new box of cereal; he was sneaking food.  He does this all the time yet he’s still more than 10% underweight.  The rule in our house is that if you sneak a food item you do not get any of that food item again that day.  So he was not able to take some of the dry cereal to school.  My sweet little boy instantly changed; it was like he was suddenly filled with rage and he just had a meltdown.  He was yelling, screaming, hitting himself, stopping his feet, and slamming his door against the wall.  He had two hands on the door and was slamming it into the wall just as hard as he could.  Then in an instant it was over and he was my sweet little boy again.  Woah turnaround.

We managed to get in to see his psychiatrist on a cancelled appointment (to avoid a month-long wait) and she has suggested that we start Risperdal.  She wants to start the dose very low, 1/2 of a .25mg table.  She said that it is very good for aggression and rage in spectrum children.  Being the avid researcher that I am, I started reading up about it and sure enough on all of my autism/Asperger’s groups and message boards there are many parents whose children are either currently taking Risperdal or who have previously taken it.  I waited until I’d done enough research to be comfortable and then started him on it Saturday night.  I wanted to make sure I was around on the day following his first dose to ensure that he didn’t have any odd or noticeable side-effects.  Thankfully all has gone well. 

In my research I found that one of the most common side-effects is increased appetite and as a result weight gain.  If this is something that can be kept in check this could be very beneficial for Alexander.  Even if he gained 1/3 of his current body weight he’d still be within the range of normal.  He’s only taken it for three nights but thankfully we haven’t had a full-on rage-y tantrum.  Fingers crossed this works!

Perhaps I should use the word meltdown instead of tantrum - however you say it, it is still the same thing.  Wednesday was my son’s first day of school and thankfully he had a good day at school.  Unfortunately that didn’t transfer over to his swim lessons that started about 45 minutes after school let out.  I had water and a favorite snack available for him in the car hoping that would help.  We got to swim lessons and he changed pretty readily and with a smile on his face got into the pool.  He’s usually a bit head-strong while in swim lessons so when he started out like this I didn’t think anything of it.  The class is just my two children and the instructor so it’s OK if he’s a bit spirited as no one else is missing out besides his little sis.

Well about halfway through the class things took a downward turn.  He was upset and didn’t want to do a dive.  He finally did a dive and then when the instructor helped him roll over to a back float (called the airplane) Alexander got mad.  Not sure why but he flipped, he started screaming, flailing, etc and tried to slap the teacher in the head.  She got him calmed down and he did his back float then came back to the stairs to wait while Ava had her turn.  When it came back to Alex he refused to get out of the pool and walk to do more dives.  When he finally got out of the pool he started kicking the toys into the pool.  At this point I stepped in and told Alex that he was done with swim lessons for the day.  We were walking to the door so I could dress him and he ‘escaped’ and ran back and got into the pool.  The instructor lifted him out for me (she’s great by the way) and I wrapped him in the towel and told him he could stand with me for the remainder of the class.  When it was over and Ava got out Alex grabbed a noodle and tried to hit the instructor.  Yikes! 

I know he was in sensory overload.  I know he was tired.  I know he had a long day.  I know it took all of his energy to get through school but I was still embarassed.  There was another mom in the room (at the other end of the large pool) who just kept staring my way.  I didn’t have it in me to say anything, I just led the kids out and got them to the dressing room.  Another battle ensued - Alexander refused to get dressed.  He wanted to wear his wet swim trunks.  I told him no because I knew the second he sat down in the car in them he’d freak out and want them off.  He hates staying in a wet swimsuit.  I ended up doing the majority of his undressing/dressing and a mom in the dressing room said “You’ve got a headstrong one there.”  I just smiled. 

Tonight should be interesting as Alex has occupational therapy at 3:30 (school is out at 2:45).  Occupational therapy is always a bit of a challenge for him - going there after a long day (and week) at school is going to be exciting to say the least.  Fingers crossed it goes well!

Today was my son’s first day of first grade.  Now I know that he ‘officially’ became a first-grader after his last day of Kindergarten but this made it more real for him.  We got to the school nice and early so we could find a parking spot and then the whole family went in.  The first point of discussion was the playgrounds.  Alexander insisted that his old playground was only for kindergarteners but I explained that it is for first-graders as well.  He wasn’t having it so we had to find a teacher who informed us that yes, he uses the same playground.  Off he went to play for a few minutes then we went to the bag line as his teacher was there handing out name tags.  I found out where to pickup Alexander after school and told him where I’d meet him. 

While standing in line one of his classmates from preschool and kindergarten came up and he yelled her name, hopefully seeing her made him comfortable.  I also found out that his best friend from preschool is back at this school for first grade and showed him to Alexander, Alexander just said “oh”.  Hmm, no enthusiasm there.  It was time to walk into the classroom and Alexander said bye and off he went.  That was it.  He’s now been in class about an hour - I hope he is having a fantastic day!

I have previously discussed tantrums - if you’d like to read up on my post check it out here:  The Dreaded Autism Tantrum.  Today I am going to revisit that topic but the subject is my son, not my daughter.  My son will be six in a few weeks and has comorbid diagnoses of ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome.  On Friday night we went for an evening/night hike with my dad, sister, and nephews.  My dad is a member of the search and rescue team for the mountains we went into so we were in good hands.  We had a lot of fun - got rained on, played with millipedes and frogs (well me, not Alexander hehe), and got a great workout.

When we get back to my parent’s house and get in our car to go home (we live 3.5 miles away) my son quickly asserts “I am not getting a shower.”  I kindly let him know that he is getting a shower and explain to him that we were rained on, we were sweaty (100% humidity), we were dirty, and we both absolutely needed a shower.  He reiterated that he was not getting a shower.  I didn’t bother arguing with him as it was a moot point.  The battle began when we drove into the garage.  Alexander refused to exit from the vehicle.  I closed the garage door and then went into the laundry room (right off of the garage).  I laid the door against the door frame but did not click it close so I could listen to Alexander.  When the garage light went off he screamed so I quickly went out there and he decided to get into the car.  Holy heck the tantrum of all tantrums began.

 He immediately started screaming - not words, just noises.  I asked him to not scream because daddy and his sister were asleep.  He responded with a louder scream, again not words just noises.  This woke up my husband who came out and helped me undress Alexander.  Alexander is a wee little guy, tipping the scales at a whopping 36lbs (he’s 46″ tall) but wow did he have some power in him.  He was kicking, punching, screaming and then suddenly he said his first words “I’m going to kick your butt.”  My husband looked at me and we both tried to stifle a giggle - I don’t think either of us have ever seen Alexander this mad.  He was in total meltdown mode. 

We finally got his clothes off and I started walking with him down the hallway and then he started in on me - punching me, slapping me, kicking me, etc.  I ignored it and made sure the water temperature in the shower was appropriate.  So I put Alexander in the shower and he yells “I’ll do it myself!” and then closes the curtain and starts punching me through the curtain.  I step around the corner and not 20 seconds later he starts to get out.  I was OK with that because he at least got a rinse off but he had tons of shampoo in his hair.  I told him that but he was not going to let me rinse it out.  I told him he could just lean his head over the tub and I’d pour water on it with our cup to get it out - nope, not gonna happen.  Well I managed to get him in position, turn the water on, and fill up the cup before he turned the water off.  I poured it over his head and got the shampoo out which evidently made Alexander even more mad.

At this point Alexander decides to attack the shower.  He grabs the handle and yells “I’m going to break this” and proceeds to tug at it to try to break it.  I took his hands up and picked him up and my husband stepped in with the towel.  Alexander demanded to go to bed wet and I said that was fine so we let him go.  He runs into his room, gets on his undies, and then wants us to tuck him in.  BAM - tantrum is instantly over.  It was like he flipped a switch.

I feel bad about making him take the shower but it was something that really needed to be done in my opinion.  We were so sweaty it was disgusting - our clothes and hair were completely soaked.  Alexander seems to have moved on from the moment, now I need to do the same.