Mutterings Of A Mindless Mommy

I haven’t really posted about this before but I write for a website called Suite101 on Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome. As part of my writing, I have to cover autism from all sides, including sides that I may not personally agree with. I have tried to keep my blog, with all of my personal opinions, separate from my writings for the website but today I wanted to share an article with the readers of MindlessMommy.

On Sunday night, after Jasinski was voted as the winner of Big Brother Season Nine, I emailed the Publicist requesting an email or phone interview. My request for an email interview was granted. I heard back from Jasinski last night and just published my article this morning.

Adam Jasinski Speaks About Autism

In the past several days, a few of my stories on Adam Jasinski’s comment on Big Brother 9 have appeared on a few popular Big Brother message boards. Naturally, some of his supporters have come out to speak their minds. I don’t believe in censorship so although I don’t agree with their statements (in general), I have published them as well as my response.

I decided to make a separate blog post to bring this attention to those that are subscribed to my blog and might not see the comments on old posts as I’d really like more feedback from parents of children with autism as well as those with autism themselves.

Here is my response to the supporters that posted in the United Autism Foundation Apology from Olaf Hampel, be sure to read the comments of the post to find out what the supporters have to say and chime in with your opinion please, I’d like to get a nice dialogue going.

Thank you Sharon and Joanne for sharing your feelings. I don’t believe in censorship so have approved your posts even though I slightly disagree. I think that disagreements are good to use as jumping points for conversation.

I do not feel that those that were offended by Adam’s very insensitive remark have to worry about karma nor do I think that they care about his money. $500,000, even if donated completely to a charity, will not make any difference in the lives of people that live with autism every…single…day.

What will make a difference is the public outcry that happened after Adam made his regrettable statement. Sure, he may be a great guy who made a rude comment. It isn’t the first time someone has done so and it won’t certainly be the last.

I also have to point out that Adam did not say “retarded” which is a description of a level of intelligence, instead he said “retards”. The word “retards”, when used to describe a person, is derogatory. There is no way that a medical professional, anywhere, will tell a client “your child is a retard.” The professional will say that your child has mental retardation. Yes it is a matter of semantics but it is an important difference.

Whether Adam wins or not means nothing to me. I am in no way affiliated with the United Autism Foundation and am merely the mom of two children on the autism spectrum, neither of whom happen to have mental retardation (this is directed at those that read that assume autism = mental retardation).

I am thankful that his statement has created a lot of buzz and perhaps more people will think before making a statement in a derogatory manner as Adam did.

Thank you,

Melissa the Mindless Mommy

I have mentioned previously that I am a non-traditional college student studying speech-language pathology.  This past week has been so hectic for me that my poor little blog has been neglected.  Imagine my surprise when I looked at my stats to see that my daily traffic has more than doubled.  Evidently Adam Jasinski from Big Brother 9 is doing quite well in the house so fans everywhere are Googling him.  Although he is the source of the majority of my traffic, I feel compelled to post a bit about my studies today.

The semester is coming to a close and I’m working on my IPA transcription portfolio as well as studying for my phonetics and anatomy and physiology finals (which are in about ten days).  I transcribed more than 400 words yesterday and sure enough, when I went to sleep I dreamed about transcription.  I sleep, and ultimately dream, to get a break from the daily grind.  Dreaming about transcription didn’t lead to beneficial sleep on my end.  I have about 2,000 more words to transcribe between now and Friday.  I predict more transcription dreams in my future.

I am loving the challenge that my studies are bringing me, it feels refreshing.  However, I wish I had better time management skills as I could have spread these transcriptions over the past few weeks.  Procrastination is a bad habit of mine. 

I see Hans Asperger’s name butchered on a daily basis.  Hans Asperger was the doctor who “discovered” Asperger’s Syndrome.  According to the OASIS website:

Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger’s Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills. In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940’s, it wasn’t until 1994 that Asperger Syndrome was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.

However, I see his name misspelled all the time.  I’m not just talking about people who are casually mentioning AS but from people who either have AS themselves, have a child with AS or are professionals that deal with AS.  This is not a matter of regional spelling, this is a person’s surname.  There is only one way to spell his surname.  There is no regional spelling of his surname.

A common joke among both Aspies and those with friends or family members with AS is “Oh no, it’s teh Ass Burgers!”  For those not joking around, please give the good Doc a little credit and spell his name right.  Thanks!  *wink*

I came across a parenting style when my son was young called Attachment Parenting which is based on Bowlby’s research on attachment theory. It was something I was already doing, somewhat, but when reading more about it I realized that it just felt right. Some people call it hippy parenting but I’m definitely not a hippy. Anyhow, in recent months, I’ve decided that I am very thankful for attachment parenting.

My children are 6.5 and 4.5 and both have serious anxiety problems. My youngest, although her language has blossomed tremendously, cannot articulate to me the reasoning behind her anxieties (aside from them being centered around the vents hehe). So at night, when the kiddos freak out and want to be with momma, I let them.

Part of attachment parenting involves nighttime parenting which for many involves co-sleeping. We co-slept with both children as infants and into toddlerhood then the kiddos migrated into their own beds. In the past year, or so, they’ve both migrated back into our bed. My daughter is in our room on a full-time basis and has a toddler bed setup next to our bed. My son will sometimes sleep in his bed but more often than not is in our bed or sleeping on the couch with daddy (who sometimes sleeps on the couch as well hehe).

I am thankful that we don’t have any preconceived notions of where children should sleep. It isn’t “mommy and daddy’s bed” - it is simply a bed. If the four of us end up in it, then so be it. As a result, my children are able to get restful sleep as are my husband and I. Sure, some nights are rought but it is much better than expecting the kids to stay in their rooms when they are frightened beyond belief.

Some naysayers may say that the children are manipulating us. Dare I say that neither child really has the capacity to manipulate. Neither has ever done something that could be construed as manipulation. The fear in their eyes, the panting of their breath and the heart beating out of their chest sensations are evidence that they are truly in a panic when they come running from their room in the middle of the night.

I know that in time, they will each go back into their own room on a permanent basis. It isn’t common for a high school student to still be co-sleeping with mommy and daddy. In the meantime, I’ll cherish my sweet sleeping children close to me.

Here is a story that was written, and illustrated, by Alex.

All About Storms by Alex

Some storms have rain thunder and lightning. Some storms have twisters. Some storms by water have hurricanes. Some storms in the winter are called blizzards. Also storms can have heal heal heal. (hail, insert pictures of a lot of hail of various sizes falling from the sky).

Storm Safety Tips

If you are driving in a storm with rain you might want to stay in the car.

The End.

Today’s post was brought to you by my storm-loving son, Alex.  I am a weather-junkie myself, I remember receiving a cloud kit when I was in elementary school and thus sparked my love of weather and storms.  Alexander came about as a result of being newlyweds stuck in an ice storm (how perfect hehe) so he’s been a storm-lover from the get-go. 

We will often sit and watch twister shows on TV and after watching a recent series, Twister Sisters, he declared that he wanted to go storm chasing.  I told him that I would take him on a storm chasing vacation for his 16th Birthday to which he quickly replied “Pops can come too!”  So we’ve got my dad on board and the three of us will head to Tornado Alley for Alexander’s 16th birthday.

Although we don’t currently live in Tornado Alley, Alexander was born in Arkansas and some maps consider it to be a part of Tornado Alley, a fact of which Alexander is proud.  He will also enthusiastically tell the story of his first tornado warning although he doesn’t remember it personally.

In December of 2001 when Alexander was not quite four months old, I had a hunkering for a chicken sandwich from Burger King (I know, I know, bad for me!).  While paying for my sandwich, the tornado sirens went off.  My eyes bulged because my son was at home and here I was, two miles away.  I quickly drove home and ran into the house to find my husband and son in the closet.  Now this wasn’t our first siren and we didn’t always go into the closet (we’d watch the radar to see if we needed to), but this was the first siren with a wee one so there was no question.

There on the floor in the closet was my son strapped into his car seat with the handle up and a pillow over it (so as not to suffocate him) and daddy sitting there with his arms wrapped tightly around the car seat.  I was instantly relieved, I was back home with my family.  Although it was very windy, the tornado didn’t hit our apartment.  It did, however, cut through a neighborhood about a mile away.  That was our closest encounter with a tornado during the two years we lived in Arkansas.

One month later, we were back “home” in Arizona with family.

Image courtesy of the National Severe Storms Laboratory.

No matter how organized I think I am, something inevitably steps in and throws a wrench into my plans.  Last week, I had a fever.  Oh wah wah you’re thinking, but that fever laid me out.  I fell behind in some of my volunteer activities, my studies and my writing.  Falling behind kind of starts like a little snowball and then rolls into one humongous snowball before it stops.  I think I have finally managed to stop the snowball, as is evidenced by my getting a chance to post here on a “personal” level.

In my downtime I managed to read a fiction novel - that’s right ladies and gentlemen, a book not related to parenting, autism or speech-language pathology!  About ten years ago, a friend recommended the “Sword of Truth” series to me by the author Terry Goodkind.  I read it and enjoyed it so went on to the next book in the series.  In short time I’d caught up with all of the published works and would have to wait (albeit impatiently) for the next book to be released.

In all that has been going on in the past 12-18 months I kind of last track of the series.  On Friday, I took Ava to the library and upon walking in decided to look at the books on display in the “new releases and bestsellers” section.  There looking at me were the words TERRY GOODKIND.  I was ecstatic, I hadn’t even realized that the newest had been released.  I was even more excited to read that this was the final book in the series - I would finally know how it ended.

The book was a little over 600 pages and I finished it on Monday.  I can honestly say that it was worth the lost sleep and bump in my delayed work.  In my between Sword of Truth book time, I would read Robert Jordan’s “Wheel of Time” series.  Unfortunately Mr. Jordan passed away recently in the midst of writing his last book.  A writer has been chosen to finish it, however.

If anyone that reads this likes fantasy-themed fiction books, I’d love to hear what you recommend.  I read R.A. Salvatore and Tolkein so any other authors that you think I should check out - post ‘em here.  I need to read fiction more often.

Today I’m going to share some notable Blogging for Autism Awarenessposts.  Our first stop is over to Casdok’s site, Mother of Shrek.  Today, Casdok posted up several pictures under the blog post title of What have all these people got in common?  Great post.  Several individuals who are suspected to have been (or are) on the autism spectrum have been monumental in societal contributions. 

Phoebe at feebeeglee posted on April 1 - What’s Wrong With This Picture? drawing attention to a fabulous pice written by Kerry Cohen that has been published on Babble.com.  The article is entitled What’s Wrong With This Picture?  My autistic son doesn’t need to be fixed - it is worth the read, thank you Phoebe for drawing attention to it and Kerry for writing it. 

Autonomous Autistic discusses her views on some of CNN’s coverage in the post CNN, and why my spouse is ignoring me.  I do like to read the views of those that have autism themselves and this provides some great insight. 

These are just a few of the many posts on the Momologue Blogging for Autism Awareness blogroll.

Okay I’m not a big time blogger (although I aspire to be hehe).  I was looking at my Google Analytics results for today and noticed a jump in hits - a lot were coming from CNN.com.  The thing that was different from past cnn.com hits is that these were referrals, not a result of someone using the web search function at cnn.com.

So of course, being the curious kitty that I am, I decided to go take a look for myself.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/04/02/autism.faces/index.html

I spent a few minutes on the page and could not figure out where the link was coming from.  Then I decided to click on “From the Blogs” and there it was.  Yay!

You may have noticed that I use the term “autism spectrum conditions” (abbreviated to ASCs) an awful lot.  I still sometimes slip and use the more commonly-known phrase “autism spectrum disorders” (abbreviated to ASDs) but I do try to use the word condition as opposed to disorder.  To some, this may not matter but after spending some time reading and conversing with several adult autistics, I have decided to make a concentrated effort to use the word conditions.

Let’s look at the definitions from dictionary.com

Condition:
1.a particular mode of being of a person or thing; existing state; situation with respect to circumstances.
2.state of health: He was reported to be in critical condition.

Disorder:
4. a disturbance in physical or mental health or functions; malady or dysfunction: a mild stomach disorder. 

Okay, so the two words can be used interchangeably.  Now what?  The word disorder tends to have a negative connotation whereas condition is neutral. 

Here are some of my favorite neurodiversity-friendly sites:

The Autism Acceptance Project

The Autism Hub

Neurodiversity.com

Autistics.org