Thankful for Attachment Parenting
I came across a parenting style when my son was young called Attachment Parenting which is based on Bowlby’s research on attachment theory. It was something I was already doing, somewhat, but when reading more about it I realized that it just felt right. Some people call it hippy parenting but I’m definitely not a hippy. Anyhow, in recent months, I’ve decided that I am very thankful for attachment parenting.
My children are 6.5 and 4.5 and both have serious anxiety problems. My youngest, although her language has blossomed tremendously, cannot articulate to me the reasoning behind her anxieties (aside from them being centered around the vents hehe). So at night, when the kiddos freak out and want to be with momma, I let them.
Part of attachment parenting involves nighttime parenting which for many involves co-sleeping. We co-slept with both children as infants and into toddlerhood then the kiddos migrated into their own beds. In the past year, or so, they’ve both migrated back into our bed. My daughter is in our room on a full-time basis and has a toddler bed setup next to our bed. My son will sometimes sleep in his bed but more often than not is in our bed or sleeping on the couch with daddy (who sometimes sleeps on the couch as well hehe).
I am thankful that we don’t have any preconceived notions of where children should sleep. It isn’t “mommy and daddy’s bed” - it is simply a bed. If the four of us end up in it, then so be it. As a result, my children are able to get restful sleep as are my husband and I. Sure, some nights are rought but it is much better than expecting the kids to stay in their rooms when they are frightened beyond belief.
Some naysayers may say that the children are manipulating us. Dare I say that neither child really has the capacity to manipulate. Neither has ever done something that could be construed as manipulation. The fear in their eyes, the panting of their breath and the heart beating out of their chest sensations are evidence that they are truly in a panic when they come running from their room in the middle of the night.
I know that in time, they will each go back into their own room on a permanent basis. It isn’t common for a high school student to still be co-sleeping with mommy and daddy. In the meantime, I’ll cherish my sweet sleeping children close to me.
