It has been a long time since my son has had a meltdown. He’s 8 years old now and has been diagnosed with either PDD-NOS or Asperger’s Syndrome. There are mild nuances between the two diagnoses but we just say “Asperger” or Aspie because more people understand that than they do PDD. Anyhow, yesterday during a big transition Alex had an equally big meltdown.
Yesterday, all four of us went to the store to buy bikes. Alex received a bike when he was 3 or 4 and didn’t have much interest in it. He has enjoyed his scooter and Ava enjoys her. However, I’ve been thinking about how much I enjoyed running around the neighborhood on my bike as a child. I don’t want the kids to miss out on that so it was bicycle buying time – for all four of us!
Thanks to an emergency trip to the store by my dad (I woefully underestimated the space that bikes would take up in our vehicle), we made it home with bikes in tact. I had not been on a bike in over a decade and hopped on it and tooled up the road and back real quick. You really don’t forget.
Alexander hopped on his bike, yes it has training wheels, and was right behind me. Before he had a difficult time coordinating all the various movements to ride a bike but he had it down. Ava hopped on her very first bike, ever, and quickly got the hang of it. Daddy took up the rear and we were off.
After about 1.5 hours and with the sun about to set, it was time to go in the house. I had given Alex a bit of a warning but evidently that wasn’t enough. Transitioning out of a super fun activity into the nighttime routine is huge for him and he quickly entered a full-blown meltdown.
I felt bad for the lil guy and we eventually calmed him down (gotta love showers). Surprisingly, about an hour later, Alex came up and apologized to both Dave and I for his meltdown. This is huge! Not that I felt he needed to apologize to me, but the fact that he felt that his actions weren’t productive and he acted on his feelings. I
I’ve never been the type to force apologies from my kids. If you tell your child “Say you’re sorry” but they aren’t sorry, then it is a worthless apology. Instead, when I hear my kids say, “I’m sorry”, I know that they truly are.
Alex has grown a lot in the past few years, so much so that I forgot about the rough transitions we’ve dealt with in the past. This was a quick reminder that Alex still has a wee bit of trouble with transitions and I know that next time we go from having fun riding our bikes to coming in for a shower, we’ll both be better prepared for the event.
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I’m with you on the forced apologies. If you have to force a kid to say they are sorry, then how do you know whether or not they are really sorry?
Thanks for the comment Tammy and I totally agree. If my kids say they are sorry, I know they mean it. I’ll take a non apology over a forced apology any day.