When an individual has Asperger’s Syndrome and is also gifted, s/he falls into the category of twice exceptional(2E).  The same would be of a child with ADHD and Giftedness or a whole bevy of other conditions.  A child could even have a reading learning disability but be gifted in math and thus, twice exceptional.  Twice exceptional students present an interesting challenge to teachers - whether the child is homeschooled or in a traditional classroom.  One benefit of homeschooling a 2E child is that the parent can tailor the education specifically for the child.

My son is twice exceptional having officially been declared gifted in the verbal arena and nearly gifted in mathematics (95th percentile).  However, his anxiety crept up when the school did a giftedness assessment on him at the end of Kindergarten (per the teacher’s recommendation).  He actually scored in the at-risk range verbally (20th percentile).  When he had one-on-one testing with the neuropsychologist he scored in the 98th percentile. 

So now it is the end of 1st grade, a few weeks ago Alexander’s teacher informed me that she would like to recommend Alexander for the ALP (Advanced Learning Program - also called GATE) testing.  She said he has strengths that are commonly seen among the gifted and knows of his scoring with the neuropsych.  I talked to Alex about it and he said sure, that one of his closest friends was going to do them this year and he wanted to as well.  So I signed off on it and testing started yesterday and will continue through tomorrow.

The school uses the CogAT (Cognivite Abilities Test) which is administered to a group of children.  Alexander told me yesterday that there were 3 plus 3 plus 3 plus 1 students in the room, all first graders.  He said his ears were working well, his nerves stayed behind and it was fun.  I don’t care what the results are, I’m just glad that it isn’t an anxiety-riddled event for him.  Group-given tests like this aren’t really a strongpoint of a child with attention and auditory issues but hey, ya never know, right?

I see Hans Asperger’s name butchered on a daily basis.  Hans Asperger was the doctor who “discovered” Asperger’s Syndrome.  According to the OASIS website:

Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger’s Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills. In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940’s, it wasn’t until 1994 that Asperger Syndrome was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.

However, I see his name misspelled all the time.  I’m not just talking about people who are casually mentioning AS but from people who either have AS themselves, have a child with AS or are professionals that deal with AS.  This is not a matter of regional spelling, this is a person’s surname.  There is only one way to spell his surname.  There is no regional spelling of his surname.

A common joke among both Aspies and those with friends or family members with AS is “Oh no, it’s teh Ass Burgers!”  For those not joking around, please give the good Doc a little credit and spell his name right.  Thanks!  *wink*

On a car ride home from an after-school activity tonight Alexander tells me, very nonchalantly, “I’m weird.”  Seeing this as a chance to learn more about what he’s thinking I very carefully approach the ‘conversation.’  He doesn’t have many true reciprocal conversations with me but if I can play my cards right, I can get some good information out of him.  So I casually asked “Who says that?”and he says “people”.  I said “what people” and he said “my friends, sometimes Brooke” (Brooke is the little girl that he punched in the eye the other day). 

 So I waited for a minute then asked “what do you do that is weird?”  He responded that she said he acts weird.  Okay, typical first grader “stuff.”  One more question “Is anyone else weird?”  He names off three other boys, one of which I am almost certain is on the spectrum as well based on what Alexander has told me about him.  I try to get more information but that is the end of the conversation for the time being.

As we get home and get in the house I ask him “do XXX and YYY also leave the classroom for part of the day?”  He said “yeah, we don’t see them after lunch, they go to the special dark room with ZZZ.”  Ah hah!  hehe  Alexander is not on an IEP, he is attending a school a few districts away and if he ends up on an IEP we lose our ability to attend the school.  If he *needs* an IEP we’ll do it but right now his teacher is fantastic and makes accommodations without needing anything in writing.  Whew. 

Alexander only knows of this room because ZZZ gets to pick classmates from his inclusion room to take to his special sensory room to play games, etc (I’m guessing this is a social skills activity).  Alexander told me all about it one day - he loved it because there weren’t bright lights that make buzzing noises hehe.

I love my “weird” Alexander but told him a better word would be unique and reminded him of a book we have - I Am Utterly Unique.

Last week was Spring Break for my son.  I’ve been contemplating weaning him off of the Risperdal because he’s been doing really well with aggression (the dentist’s office meltdown doesn’t count) and has learned some good coping techniques.  Although I understand the need for medication, I’d really prefer not to use them if I don’t have to.  Well that kind of flew out the window today.  Here is our after school conversation.

Me:  Did you have a green day?

Alex:  Yes

Me: Really?

Alex:  Yes

Long pause.

Alex:  There is a note in my backpack for you.

Me:  What does it say?

Alex:  I don’t want to tell you, it is from Mr. Lawson, the PE teacher.

Me:  Alex, tell me what it says, I’m driving.

Alex:  I punched Brooke in the eye.

Long pause.

Me:  Why?

Alex:  The note says “no reason.”

Me:  Okay, but do you know why you did it?

Alex:  The note says “no reason.”

Me:  *sigh*

Alex:  Am I going to have a consequence at home?

Me:  *sigh*

Brooke used to be his best friend.  A few weeks ago he came home and said that she called him the “j-word”.  Perplexed, I asked him what the “j-word” was and he whispered “jerk”.  I asked him why she said that and he said it was because he didn’t want to play with her at recess that day.  I haven’t heard anything about Brooke since then. 

At home he still couldn’t tell me why he did it.  He did say that she didn’t say anything to him, look at him, touch him, etc just that he felt like punching her in the eye.  When my husband got home we had a conversation with Alexander and discussed the fact that hitting is not appropriate, etc.  A while later he told me he wanted to write an apology note.  Woah!  I told him that I thought that would be a nice idea.

A few minutes later he brings me a note in his first grade scrawl that said “I’m really sorry for punching you in the eye.  Can you be my friend again?” I told him to put it in an envelope and give it to his teacher so she could give it to Brooke.  I also followed up with an email to his teacher to let her know of the note.

Alexander has been on the receiving end of bullying before.  He’s had his glasses knocked off, been kicked in the groin, had send repeatedly thrown on him etc.  All of these incidences were from different kids and these weren’t just this year.  Overall there is very little bullying at the school, I know any bullying is too much bullying but I’m also a realist.  I am sad that he acted out in that way and called the pharmacy for a refill. 

Perhaps this summer we’ll try to wean him off of the Risperdal again and see how it goes.

My Mindless Mommy Blog is one year old!  I’ve had the domain for longer than that but on 3/10/07 I created my Mutterings of a Mindless Mommy blog dedicated to my life as the mom of two children on the autism spectrum.  At the time I started the blog, I only knew I was the mom of one on the spectrum.  Since then I’ve been promoted to mom of two great spectrum kiddos! 

Here’s a look back at some of my favorite and more popular posts.  I’m going to start with March and April of 2007 as I have many favorites and I don’t want to spam them all here in one post. 

An Introduction - My first blog entry!

The Dreaded Autism Tantrum - Blogged from our hotel in San Diego after a fun day at Sea World.

Having Autism vs. Being Autistic - Two completely different statements and one may be offensive to a certain part of the autism community and the other offensive to another part of the autism community.  The power of words, truly amazing.

Autism and Terbutaline- I get visitors to this post every day from Google searches on the topic.  Not many comments but by far one of my most popular posts.

“She Should be Potty Trained” - Not my shining glory moment of educating others about autism, but some days you just have to say what is on your mind.

A Neat Little Package Called Asperger’s Syndrome - This post was made shortly after my son’s diagnosis.

My son had a follow-up visit with his opthamologist on Friday.  The outcome - an eye patch.  His vision is still getting worse and since he’s ambylopic we’re afraid that his brain is going to shut off his right eye.  Even with the glasses, he’s still over-compensating and using his left eye more.  Now he gets to wear an eye patch for three hours a day, every day, and we go back to the doc in two months.  I think this will be good for Alexander because he’s been slacking a bit on wearing his glasses (he’ll take them off for something and forget to put them on, etc).  This way he knows that this is serious business but he doesn’t have to worry about wearing the patch outside of the house.

I cannot get him to say “arrr” for me though, I’ll do it in my best pirate voice and he just giggles but refuses to say it.  I asked him if I should buy a parrot for his shoulder to which he enthusiastically responded “yes!”  I forget that rhetorical questions don’t usually work with six year-olds or Aspies.  hehe  The office gave us a package of four sample patches and recommended a company based out of Tucson, Arizona - Ortopad USA.  I ordered the patches yesterday and selected priority UPS next day shipping (as we don’t want to run out).  A representative from the company called me back and said UPS doesn’t deliver on Saturday and since I’m also in Arizona the standard priority mail shipping would likely get here by Monday.  Guess what arrived on my doorstep today?  Yup, 100 fancy boy-themed eyepatches.

As I’ve mentioned (repeatedly, I’m sure) Alexander is tactile defensive.  Thankfully the patches only irritate him a little bit.  Hopefully when we go back in two months his right eye will have made improvements and we can stop.  Until then, I have a happy little Aspergic pirate. 

Thank heavens I had a vacation before my son’s dentist appointment - the day started off rough and just got worse.  My husband and I had a great time in Vegas and got back Monday afternoon - we met my parents and the kiddos at dinner.  After dinner we headed back to the house for a relaxing evening.  Alexander was not to take anything for sleep - no melatonin, no clonidine, nothing.  Ugh.  Not only did he have a hard time falling asleep, he had a difficult time staying asleep.  Then morning comes with a surprise accident in bed, he hasn’t done that in ages and we don’t have a waterproof cover.  So our day started about 1.5 hours early.  Not good because not only can he not eat or drink, we can’t give him his morning medicine (ADHD/aggression meds).

So the time comes for daddy to go to the airport for a business trip that he couldn’t cancel and for me to drop off my daughter with my mom.  We got to the dentist’s office about ten minutes early and Alexander was just as chipper as could be.  He didn’t seem nervous and was in a fantastic mood.  The dentist came to talk to me and told me what was going to happen then they went ahead and checked Alexander’s lungs, pulse, and blood pressure.  Everything checked out and per his weight he was to have 3.7 of Versed (I think mls) but they chose to give him less - 3.5. 

We were taken to a little room with a chair, TV playing Cars, and a little mat, pillow and blanket for Alexander. He was given the Versed.  At five minutes in the dentist checked and he was still acting normal.  At six minutes in the giggling started.  At seven minutes in he said he was missing a finger.  At eight minutes he wanted to lay down on the mat and at nine minutes he said his hands felt funny.  Ten minutes in I was in tears from laughing so hard and he was just giggling.  Someone came and picked him up and carried him back to the treatment room. 

About 15 minutes later the front desk calls me up and says that the tooth ended up being the “worst-case scenario” - he needed to have it removed.  I gave the go-ahead and then after about ten more minutes he was done.  I settled up the account and the dentist came to talk to me.  He said that all of the rest of Alexander’s teeth look great - his enamel is good, no cavities etc.  He said that this was an anomaly as usually with a cavity to this extent there are other problem teeth.  He said Alexander did great and giggled throughout and would pause to say “what the heck?” - yup that’s my boy.

I then went back to the little room and Alexander was on the mat with cotton in his mouth.  The dental assistant told me they were trying to keep him from chewing his cheek and tongue.  I took over duties and ended up picking him up and holding him in my lap.  He was still giddy and I had to take a picture of him to show him that his lip/tongue looked normal even though they felt weird.  About 15 minutes later, all hell broke loose.  The Versed started to wear off and Alexander became more aware of the numb lip feeling.  For a sensory-defensive child, especially one who is orally defensive, this was not a pleasant sensation.  He started his banshee screams and the mommy abuse began.  I could get him distracted for short periods of time but not long.  The dentist and assistants all came to help distract him as well.  After an hour he passed the test to go home - the ability to stand up, take a few steps, and blood pressure/pulse were OK.

Thankfully I had the foresight to engage the childproof lock on the car door.  The ride home was a nightmare.  Alexander kicked and screamed and generally thrashed about.  I even managed to get kicked in the head while driving 65 mph down the freeway.  Thank heavens he’s a stickler for the seat belt because he never unbuckled.  He started off telling me he was leaving me and moving in with Auntie.  Then started the “I want to kick your butt, no really I want to kick your butt” which was followed by “No, I’m going to kill you.”  After awhile that changed to “I just want to be dead.”  Alexander has never said anything like this before so I knew it was the medicine.

Once we got home I had to deal with a few more hours of these random outbursts/meltdowns.  He wasn’t able to just eat right away - I had to start with clear liquids and then move up to soft foods.   Once it faded off I kind of casually asked about his day and he’s one of the lucky winners who don’t have an amnesiac effect from the drug.  He remembered everything - from being carried to the chair to all of the things he said to me.  He said the leg straps felt weird but that he didn’t freak out.   He’d get this real sheepish look when I mentioned the car ride home.

Around dinner time he brings me a note that says “I love you mommy, sorry for attacking you.”  My heart swelled, I felt so bad that he had to feel like this.  I gave him a big hug and kiss and told him that not only was it mommy’s job to be attacked but that he wasn’t doing it, the medicine was.  He reassured me that he didn’t want to move in with Auntie, kill me, or be dead.  I told him that I knew that Alex wasn’t saying those words, that the Versed was.

The day ended with Alex and I cuddling in my bed.  He bounced back quickly and was at school yesterday.  I told my husband that if Alexander needs something like this again that I was not going alone - no way can I go through that again, it was physically and emotionally draining.  I’m not even the one that had to go through the tooth extraction!

Dental work, Asperger’s syndrome, and anxiety - those three phrases do not go together!  They are, however, my reality.  Well actually, they are my son’s reality.  He was complaining of a toothache on Friday night and yesterday I managed to get him in with a fabulous pediatric dentist who has experience with children on the spectrum.  The dentist’s niece has Asperger’s Syndrome so he “gets it.”  Alexander did great yesterday - he let the tech take x-rays which involved foreign objects in his mouth.  He also did a great job during the cleaning only gagging a couple of times; he probably only swallowed half of the fluoride this time!  It has been a year since his last cleaning (I know, bad mommy) but the sensory integration therapy and Wilbarger brushing protocol helped tremendously.

So the bad news is that he has a between the teeth infected cavity!  The dentist said no more raisins, gummy worms, fruit roll-ups, etc.  I let the dentist know that Alexander doesn’t like raisins and can’t have the other foods as he’s on the Feingold Diet which eliminates artificial flavors and colors of which gummy candy has.  I then went on to explain that Alexander doesn’t like anything chewy as he has low oral-motor tone and chewing is a chore.  I wish he’d eat raisins, it would help build his muscle strength in his jaw!  The dentist asked about juice - nope, not much in the way of juice either (maybe a few days a month).  So here’s my conundrum of a child with an interesting cavity.

So we’ll go back in two weeks and they will sedate him with Versed, then give him laughing gas, and follow-up with local anesthetic.  They did let me now they’ll wrap him in a Velcro blanket.  My son is tactile defensive and claustrophobic.  Dear God help us on March 11!  I explained it all to my son and practiced rolling him up in a blanket.  Thankfully he’s a smart guy so understood everything I said.  I think we’ll be fine before and during the procedure but afterwards is where I’m concerned.

Alexander is to skip his clonidine the night before and the day of the procedure he will not be able to take his Focalin XR nor his Risperdal.  Alexander is combative under stress and I’ve been told that Versed can make even the most docile child combative as they come out of it.  Woohooo, yay me!  Alexander is a scrawny little guy (a whopping 41 pounds now) but when he’s in the throes of an outburst someone always gets hurt.  My mom is going to try to come with me to the appointment so she can help me afterwards.  I’m going to stay positive and think that Alexander wil just be giddy and loopy coming out of it - I don’t want my butt kicked my a six year old!

If you’ve had experience with Versed - please, please share them with me.  I’ll take the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I posted earlier today that I’m not in Chess Mom mode; Chess Dad took Alexander to his second chess tournament.  I received a happy call from Alexander after every game who proudly proclaimed that he lost but had fun.  The final round was supposed to start at 2:00 pm our time; the phone rings at 2:03 - surely the game wasn’t over that quickly!  Chess Dad asks “what does a full-point bye mean?”  I explained that Alexander had a bye for the final round and instead of the typical 1/2 point that is awarded in the event of a bye, Alexander was receiving a full point.

Translation:  Trouble.

For anyone familiar with Asperger’s Syndrome, you know that change is not exactly a welcome event.  Routine is the name of the game and this is most certainly the case with Alexander.  He had an expectation of playing four games.  This expectation is not happening.  What did happen, is a meltdown.  Chess Dad quickly called back and said “you have to talk to him, he’s freaking out” to which I hear Alexander yell “I’m not touching the phone!”  I told Chess Dad to put it into numbers; Alexander likes numbers.  I said to explain to Alexander that there is an odd number of players so every week someone gets to sit out.  If there are 99 children, there are only 49 games.  This week he’s special and gets a point for just showing up.  I then followed up with a joke - “If that doesn’t work, just carry him out of there.”  I guess that is only partially a joke as I’ve had to carry both of the kids (on separate occasions) out of places before.

I feel bad for Dave as he doesn’t have the thick skin that I do with regards to rude comments from onlookers.  Hopefully Alexander takes it easy on him and just has a mini-meltdown.

Last month my son attended his first chess club meeting; chess club meets for an hour before school on Friday mornings.  That was his first, and up until today only, chess club meeting.  They went over the names of the chess pieces and the allowed moves.  That weekend my son and I played chess and I was surprised at how quickly he picked it up.  The second week of chess club the instructor was double-booked so there was no meeting.  The third week the instructor was MIA so there was no meeting.  Last night the new instructor, Coach Leo, called to confirm that yes he would be there this morning.  Sure enough, Coach Leo was the first person on the scene.  Alexander is now attending his second chess club meeting.

In these past few weeks we’ve been playing chess,both over our LAN and with the actual board. He gets a little obsessive with the pieces on the board and will kind of zone out as he lines up the pieces he’s captured so LAN play is a bit more productive.  I am obviously worse than I remember and he’s better than I gave him credit for - if I don’t pay attention he’ll beat me.  Our first LAN game ended in a draw.  I barely beat him the next two games and that was with me playing to the best of my ability.  I love how he’s fine when he loses a strategy game like chess.  Last year we were playing the game “Sorry” and as he realized he was losing he leapt over the board game at me like a lion after an antelope and attacked me.  Losing at chess he just says “let’s play again.”  Whew, I’m not in risk of bodily harm.

So this morning while waiting for the custodian to open the library up for chess club, Coach Leo mentioned a chess tournament that is being held tomorrow.  We’d have to register Alexander with the American Scholastic Chess Federation but would receive a magazine as well as be ranked nationally.  In the tournament he would play with other children in 1st - 3rd grade that are also beginners.  The only requirement to play in the tournament is that they know the rules of the game.  Four games are played and it is a zero elimination tournament, all children get to play four games.  Alexander’s eyes widened upon hearing of the tournament and he proclaimed his desire to go.  Seeing him enthusiastic about something is really great so it looks like I will be spending my Saturday in a waiting room with other parents of chess lovers.